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 More Things Not To Do At Hogwarts

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Join date : 2010-07-09

PostSubject: More Things Not To Do At Hogwarts   Sun Jul 11, 2010 4:17 pm

More Things Not To Do At Hogwarts


1. I will not go to class skyclad.

2. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore."

3. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

4. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

5. I am not a sloth Animagus.

6. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar and I should not offer him one, even for free.

7. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

8. I will not tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

9. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor and will not sit in the staff room proclaiming myself as such.

10. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

11. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled "firewhiskey."

12. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

13. I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin mascot.

14. I will not put books of Muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

15. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

16. I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Professor Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

-16b. Even if I am a prefect.

17. I will not use Gryffindor and Slytherin first years as Christmas decorations.

18. I will not charm anyone's Time Turner to rotate every half-hour.

19. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

20. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

21. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal masseuse .

22. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.

23. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.

24. I will not claim there is a prequel to "Hogwarts, A History" that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

25. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" during the Christmas feast.

26. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

27. I will not create a "Death Eater And Proud Of It!" shirt.

-27b. I will not wear said shirt to class.

28. I will not tell Professor Trelawney I prophesied her death.

29. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.

-29b. Having not done this, I will not use magic to propel various food items into Professor Snape's face, no matter how funny this might be.

30. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.

31. Getting everyone into the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points.
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